grrrr..

So its 8 in the morning, and i have gotten MAYBE about two hours of sleep. I had a coughing fit at about 3:15 and havent really been able to stop since. And everytime i try to lay down, it just gets worse.. so i figured id just ramble on on here. I'm on week two of Vancomycin & Aztreonam IV's, and still - have a horrible horrible cough..its really scaring the shit out of me. Last time i was on Vanco in december it worked wonders for me, my cough was cleared up in a matter of days.. im not really quite sure whats going on, but its a little unsettlling. Im absolutely terrified of the day when IV medicine wont work for me the way that they used to, and i think that day might have came. Im just so scared of getting any worse than i already am honestly. Isnt everybody. I would love to know what its like to wake up just ONE day and be able to take a HUGE DEEP breath. Or sleep through an entire night, without waking up and choking. My coughing fits have been so bad lately. to the point where my chest and lungs hurt so bad, and painkillers dont even do anything. Theres a nasty amount of thick ass green gross mucus that im drowning in and i just want to be better. I have successfully been sick this ENTIRE winter, im so ready for spring. My whole body aches so bad right now its the worst feeling in the world..i dont think theres a part on me that doesnt hurt. I try so hard to look on the bright side of everything, but lately its been so hard. Well i have to start my morning dose of IVs in about an hour so im gonnna try to rest a littl even though i doubt it will happen. I will probably write later on tonight.