Thursday, February 16, 2012
Wow.. I just realized I have not posted a blog since LAST MARCH! that is absolutely crazy. I have honestly had quite a crazy year, lots of IVS, being sick, feeling like crap overall really. I felt like I needed to just get some things out today because I have been struggling quite bad with really bad anxiety and I don't want to admit it, but depression. I think I should really look into finding a therapist because I just can't seem to beat this blah feeling no matter what I do. And it's not just a blah feeling.. it's more of a feeling of a huge empty pit in my stomach and constant sadness. I also am led to think it is depression because I can't pinpoint one single thing on any single day that I am sad about. Yes, some days I have a specific reason to be upset.. but most days, it's just everything compiled on one another, and being sick always definitely I know plays a huge role in this. Everything is just eating away at me on the inside, and I feel like sometimes I need somebody who knows nothing about my situation to listen, so I can get some really accurate feedback. I have truly been through so much in the last couple years and I feel like it has finally just really taken a toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally. I need help, that's the end of the story. I just don't know where to start, and I'd really like this chronically heavy hearted feeling to subside a little. :( Sigh.